Tuesday, March 18, 2014

There's Gotta be Something More!

This weekend was my best friends 30th birthday party.  As I was getting ready, I started thinking about how she was so worried to turn 30 and I thought what does she have to worry about?  She's doing great for 30!  Think about the "typical" accomplishments we're all "expected" to check off our to-do lists...

graduate college
get a job/start a career
fall in love/get married
start a family
buy a house

Every single one she's accomplished!  Go her!  But then that leaves the question- what's next?  What else are we supposed to do with our lives?

From a gaming perspective she's hit every goal she set out to hit, so did she win?  Is it game over?  It can't be game over!  She's only 30!  She still has at least another 40 years on this planet!

So what else are we supposed to do with our lives?  How do we fill them, make them memorable, make them count?  There's gotta be something more!  But what is it? 

Travel?  Great but you need money for that, which means she has to work.  Plus she has a 13 month old, not exactly the easiest of travel companions.  So it's not the easiest of tasks.  If it's not easy, should she not do it?

Charity/Donations?  There's only so much time in the day and while this is a very respectable goal, should she give up time with her husband and son so that she could help others? (I'm cringing as I write this because I know how selfish and awful it sounds, but really it's hard to choose between being with your family and helping others!)

Raise your kids to be respectable human beings.  Well that's just a given!  Once your a parent this becomes a huge part of your life, but at the risk of again sounding unbelievably selfish, this is to help someone else's life.  What about something for you?
What else is there?  I'm honestly stumped!  I can't think of anything else but there's gotta be something more!  What else can we do with our lives to leave our mark to make them better to feel fulfilled? 

Furthermore, what about people like me?  Lets see what I've accomplished on the above list.

graduate college
get a job/start a career
fall in love/get married but does it count since I want a divorce?
start a family (does my miscarriage count?)
buy a home (LOL)

So am I a failure?  Should I be doing something else?  Why do we all, or at least most of us, feel like we have to accomplish the same goals?  It's almost like the saying, "ones man's trash is another man's treasure."  What's good for you may not be good for me?  But how do we decide?

When I was 17, I through a fit because I had to not only choose a college to go to but also a major.  How am I supposed to choose what I want to do with the rest of my life if' I'm only 17 and I've never really lived?  Suck it up and do it, is basically the answer I was given.  So I went to college, and transferred the next year.  I did finish my degree in history but never received my teaching certification and still don't know what I actually want my career to be! (I blame part of my indecision on the fact that I always saw myself becoming a wife and SAHM, I went to college because I was told I had to but I never really thought I'd need a career.)

I realize this is ALL over the place and I need to reel it in a bit.  So what's my point?  My point is, why is it that even when we accomplish everything we set out to we still feel as hallow and meaningless as we do if we fall short of almost every goal we set out to accomplish?  Why is it that even when in the moment we feel like we're really living, when we look back it feels like we haven't done anything?

We need to redefine how we view our lives, what we see as a success.  It's just wrong that a 30 year old woman, who has done so much in such little time can possibly feel like there is nothing else to do.  Our lives aren't over, they're just beginning, every day should be a new adventure, big or small, but we just can't see it.  I'm worried that if we focus on this too much we'll end up letting out lives fly by and never really do anything. 

How do we change this?
How do we make it better?
What else is there that we're missing?

I have absolutely no idea!  But I'm on a mission to find out, and I'd love to hear what you have to say about it. 

What do you find to be fulfilling in your life?
Do you feel like there is something missing?
What have you done to fill that void?


  1. Jessica, this is a very thought-provoking post- thank you! I think we should ask ourselves these kinds of questions at every age. I will probably never accomplish (what other people would consider to be) great things, but will I leave the world a better place in some way? If I have contributed to any one person in even one way, I think I will. Not all of us can do great things, but all of us can do small things with great love (Mother Teresa). Thank you for sharing this at Treasure Box Tuesday. ♥

    1. I love that! It's so true, that all the small things had up to big things!

  2. For me I need to feel like I have made a true stamp on this world and I need to find some real peace in myself. By then though I will have created new goals that I have yet to reach I'm sure. Its just a cycle.

    1. It's definitley a cycle! Set a goal- complete is- start again. :-)