Friday, May 9, 2014

This year we get wood!

Seems so wrong to say that, but I had to!  What am I talking about?  The 5th wedding anniversary!  This year, traditionally, we get wood per this list. There are so many jokes I'd like to make, but I'll be good and keep it PG!

If you haven't guessed already, today is my 5th wedding anniversary.  Holy cow, when did I get so OLD!  I remember thinking what this day would be like in the early part of our marriage.  I figured by now we'd have at least 1 kid, have bought a house or at least a condo, and we'd be headed to St. Lucia (our dream honeymoon location) to celebrate.  Instead, we're just putting the pieces back together after me wanting to jump ship, we have lost a baby, we live with my parents, and I have no idea what we'll do to celebrate.  Dreams coming true (sarcasm!)  But ultimately, we're together, we're in love, and really that's what I should be most thankful for.

My favorite photo from our wedding!

Since it's Friday (hallelujah!) I decided my "high 5 for Friday" would be marriage related- the top 5 highlights of our marriage; should be easy 5 highlights for 5 years.

  1. Our honeymoon- we went to Disney and Universal!  I can't wait to go again!
  2. Moving into our first apartment.  It was so cute- 2 bedrooms, brand new kitchen.  I loved it!
  3. Our 2nd apartment.  This one had 2 bathrooms and was on the first floor.  I loved how big the living room was and that it was easy entry from the parking lot.
  4. Our nephew was born and we fell so in love with him that Jim finally said we could go back to the doctor to start seriously trying again. 
  5. We found out we were having a baby. (It turned out sad but it's still a highlight for me- 2 magical days is how I'll choose to remember it!)

Now y'all know that our marriage has not been pretty!  We've been on a bumpy road the whole way along!  I had listed out the 5 "lowlights" of our marriage as well but we sounded so F'd up, I had to delete it.  It's just not necessary to wallow in the pain and suffering of the past.  I've had enough of being sad and depressed, I need to move forward and get out of this fog that I've been living in!

It's not NYE but I'm making some resolutions seeing as how this is a new year for my marriage. Here we go:

  1. Stop dwelling on the past.  If this marriage is going to last we need to both stop dragging up the bad things that have happened.  Time to let it go and move forward.
  2. Reconnect.  We've been doing a pretty good job of communicating but it still feels a little... off?  We need to really reconnect and feel comfortable again.  We're trying, we're getting there. 
  3. Get out of debt.  A huge issue with our marriage has been money or lack there of.  We are carrying around the weight of a mountain of debt.  We would be such better people if that were gone, helping us to relax and get moving on other goals for our future.  This would be a huge step towards having a successful life together.
  4. Have fun!  There are so many things we want to do and we can't, because of money.  Once we're out of debt, we're going to stay out of debt, but we're also going to have fun.  We're getting that trip to St. Lucia even if it takes us another 5 years (plus I want another trip to Universal, I need to see Hogwarts!)
  5. Get healthy!  I really, really, REALLY want to put start a family here, but I'll refrain.  We need to be healthy before we can have a baby.  Our biggest hurdle is Jim's Diabetes.  The doctor told us straight out if we could get is A1C down, we would quite possibly fix the issues we're having and POSSIBLY conceive on our own.  What a gift that would be!  I hate to think that we struggled through IVF, spent the money, took the time, felt the loss, when in the end we could have conceived on our own.  But everything happens for a reason.  We needed to go through that.  Why?  I'm not certain, but I believe that if nothing else all the struggle will help us appreciate our family way more than we ever would have if we had just conceived like it was as easy as breathing. 

As a very wise, very beautiful Matron of Honor once said- Life is a roller coaster so buckle up and hold on tight because it's going to be quite a ride.  I think of that speech every May 9th- how much our lives have gone up and down really is just like a roller coaster.  All I can do is buckle up, hold on tight, and enjoy the ride!  And that's exactly what I plan on doing.

Toasting with our best man and matron of honor!

Linking up with some amazing women!

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